Thursday, September 19, 2024
"Surrender Dorothy!"
Back to the power of no. We gladly took on a task, something we've done successfully in the past. We had meetings, we made plans, we started the work, and then we came up against a brick wall. The wall of unknowing. The hard limits of our own competency. We didn't know what we didn't know, and what we thought was going to be a smooth process turned out to be a hard-stop, dead-end. We spent two days pounding against that looming wall and ended up with a headache. One man's simple, intuitive task, can be a total hall of mirrors for another. The dread of failure rose up from deep inside and enveloped us like a black cloud of bad luck and deep futility. The experience stirred up all past experiences of failure and futility. A long, gnarly string of events over many years. We dreaded having to throw in the towel, to make the call, but finally we worked up the gumption to do it. We had to admit defeat, failure, complete futility. It seemed so personal. We realized we were not as competant, capable and talented as we thought. A hard-earned admission. Afterwards it was like the cloud evaporated and a swift golden light engulfed us. Liberation. Salvation. A deep cleanse, a certain clearing. It was a reckoning, a realization of our limits. It was totally humbling. Sort of embarrassing, but really there was no way of bluffing thru, no pretending. It finally did seem so right, and so true to admit total defeat. You know, "Surrender Dorothy!" This morning bathing in the glow of a sweet surrender. Relief.