Saturday, May 16, 2020

"Me" Watching "Me."

Yes. Funny.

I started my day yesterday thinking of my mind as a blank slate (see previous post). It seemed to work swimmingly.

My state of mind, pretty much all day yesterday, was a state of:

Dislocation
Disconnection
Disenfranchisement
Disorientation

I was basically "off the hook."

It was a strangely agreeable state of mind. I watched myself navigate the day. It felt like I was observing someone else. For some reason I flashed on G.I. Gurdjieff's idea of "conscious self-observation."

I was "Me" watching "Me" in the world. It made "Me" feel less like "Me." It was not a feeling of "self-absorption," more a  genial "clear-seeing." It was not an Ego-driven thing, it was a "drop the Ego" kind of thing.

I was a subject and object simultaneously.  It was strangely invigorating.

This morning I still feel renewed, refreshed.

The a.m. soundtrack - Peter Gabriel's - "Passion."  (1989). This is a haunting, beautiful, wondrous record. The soundtrack for a Martin Scorcese film, but it's not just a soundtrack, Gabriel worked on it as a complete record. It features an amazing group of musicians from around the world. It is extraordinary. Truly the best of "world music." Traditional instruments and sounds, combined with electronic/ambient sounds. Amazing. It starts out ominously, mysteriously. There are moments of hushed wonder and awesome beauty. Gorgeous. A labor of love. High Art. Recommended.