It became clear, somewhere along the line, that when you hear someone talking about God, they are really talking about themselves. So if loving, and kind, or vengeful and judging, you are getting a glimpse of the person doing the talking, not the entity known as "God."
This is useful. An important insight.
Wake up to the problems in the world, you realize, most of the pain and suffering of being human comes from other humans. We are a self-sabotaging species. No doubt.
Then there's nature. Life-giving and Death-dealing. A package deal. Do we look at it all as a gift, a journey, a test, a lark, a grind? What to think? I guess that depends on what kind of God you truly want to be.