This morning I am thinking about symbols and cultural markers. "The Knight of Wands" (Lord of Flame and Lightening), from the Tarot Deck, and the phrase: "Black Sheep."
I have been burning up lately. This weather. I run hot anyway. Add in the heat of the day and I am just a burning cauldron most of the time. I pulled a Tarot Card yesterday morning, and it did set the tone for the day, and this description does fit me (for good and bad), in so many ways:
"The Knight of Wands is an ‘act first, think later’ type of guy. He is impatient and impulsive, with a love for action. The downside to the Knight of Wands is that while he is bursting with energy and enthusiasm, he has a tendency to rush into things without much consideration for the consequences of his actions. He sets off on his journey in haste and often fails to have a clear plan of attack and this may negatively impact his chances of longer-term success. He is so focused on being the best and of fame and glory that he almost forgets to plan ahead and to keep sight of reality. The Knight of Wands can also come across as aggressive and overly ambitious. He is highly insistent even if others stand in his way, criticise him or challenge him."
We were at a "gathering of the tribes" yesterday. Family. Extended family. My companion and I always feel like the "Black Sheep" in these kinds of gatherings. Some folks seem to live a more orderly, moderate, rational, common-sense existence. Married. Have kids. Good jobs. Seem to know who they are and how they fit in the world.
That was never for us. We never had a plan. Had very little common sense, were always flailing about, living day to day, making it up as we went along. Full of dreams, overly-ambitious, with no plan, or means, to realize our dreams. Never able to "grow up."
We have never fit in. Never have. Never will. There may have been a time when we tried our best to to be like others, but that time is dead and gone. We now wear the Black Sheep thing, if not with pride, at least without shame. Yes, we are different. We never grew up. We have no clue what we are doing. We still are flailing about trying to break out of the circumstances of our lives.
I think we both kind of wish we had embraced our Black Sheep nature much earlier in life. Yes, we are different, we get in trouble often, we are kind of an embarrassment. You have a problem with that?!