I am starting 2018 at the bottom. Rock bottom. I mean, I suppose there is farther to fall, but I can't imagine it, or okay, that's not correct, I can imagine it, but it is frankly unimaginable. There is pain, suffering and misery, there is death, there is deep, dark, blackness, those are the things I contemplate not contemplating.
I am a hopeful soul. It's just built into my DNA. Not sure where that comes from, but it's my go-to mode. Still this first day of 2018 seems pretty damn bleak. Sub-zero. Insanely cold. And if I am to be honest with my self, prospects for the New Year don't seem all that great.
I mean that all-around. Lots of fears, worries, concerns... prospective failures. So how do I turn this darkness into gold? I imagine that I am at the bottom, and can't fall through the cracks to a certain Hell, so maybe I touch bottom, and spring back up to the surface, renewed. Like a birth experience.
I am listening to Elvis Presley's "Sun Sessions" this morning. The birth of r&r. The touchstone. The lodestar. The music is basic, simple - guitars, acoustic bass, a stark combo, fronted by a supremely weird, unconventional, spooky-strange voice. This morning even these Sun Sessions seem a bit dark. Out of time. Sort of Hermetic. Otherworldly. Lost.
(R. Rodgers - L. Hart)
Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Blue moon,
You knew just what I was there for.
You heard me saying a pray for
Someone I really could care for.
Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Blue moon...
Without a love of my own.