You bang up against reality. Like someone said, (who, I can't recall), you do trust the realness of reality. So you bang up against it. Get knocked around. Knocked off your stride. Large holes are drilled into you. Big places where you used to know things and people.
You realize somewhere along the line that life is an experience. You gain and you lose. You pretty much lose everything you gain. Hopefully, at the end, the two things balance out, but there are no guarantees. Some gain more than lose, and some lose more than gain.
You get two choices. You can "harden your heart," or "deepen your heart." You don't get to do both. Your heart just isn't that big or resilient. So harden or deepen. That's your choice. What you choose defines you. Gives your life the color, the tone, the feel of your existence.
I recall that "voice" that came to me in April 2013... so I guess deepen it is for me.