If you are "in," you are in totally, completely. Embraced. Embedded. Absorbed into the heart and soul. You are part of the plan, part of the dream. You are a member of an amazing, creative brother and sister hood.
If you are "out," you might as well not exist. You are so out, you are forgotten, buried, dismissed. You are not considered, not thought about, you really don't matter. At all.
One moment you may have been in, but then, the next you are out. And the gap between the two moments is a lifetime. It's not a "decision," it just happens that way.
It's sort of a mystery how it happens. But it happens and then there is no "going back," no fixing, no returns, no revisiting. In or out. That is it.