The last few days, due to extended exposure to some excessive heat and humidity, I was feeling quite "fragile:" as in easily broken or damaged. Sort of like I was made of fine glass or porcelain.
I walked around with a little bit lighter touch and a little less firmer grasp on the world. It's strange, once you get the inkling that you can easily be snatched away, well, you see evidence at every turn.
You start wondering if you can trust your body, will it betray or let you down? Yes, probably at some time. But it wasn't long ago when you felt invincible, indestructible. It wasn't long ago you lived a little more dangerously, taking risks, doing "crazy" or stupid things.
You actually occupied yourself with activities that could have easily gone seriously wrong. Some of it was just the "stupidity of youth." Or just the unconsciousness of one who is walking through life like a sleep-walker.
And then, well, a series of events sort of add up, and you one day awaken to the fact that your life is very tentative, your existence is marginal, your body is resilient to a point, but it's easy to push past that point.
You awaken to the fragile nature of your existence. And you realize it was always so. And once that realization takes hold, well, you can't ever really sweep that knowledge under the carpet and forget.
Even if you'd like to...