"What do I tell my kids? I can't tell them they are fucked, I have to be positive for them."

We sat on our favorite bench and watched the waves yesterday, late afternoon. One of our favorite activities, or is it a glorious in-activity? Another perfect Autumn day, blue skies, summer-like temps, a golden fading of the light. Folks were out, swimming, sailing, walking, biking. A little scene of perfection.

We should have been chill and full of peace, love & understanding, but, of course, all is not well in paradise. My partner & I were swirling down a dark tunnel in our minds. Our conversation was all about the raid & brutal assault on the residents in an apartment building on Chicago's South Shore. The current very corrupt, unwell, President is at war with Blue State America,  with the Big Cities, & with Immigrants. Agents zip-tied little children, moms, dads in a disgusting & immoral raid. We are the kind of people, who believe an assault, an attack on "those people," is an attack on us too. You know, solidarity with humanity.

Hard to believe this adminstration has decided to make America a fascist, rat-fucking Dystopia. Yes. A dark fascist turn, no doubt. We have lived through bad Presidencies before, especially: Nixon, Reagan, Bush II, but this has gone so bad, so quickly, it is hard to believe, but it is  undoubtably true, this is the New Ugly America, and we are under the thumb of the worst of us. We have a hostile President & Adminstration that is at War with Americans.

We struggled through a conversation. How to keep our heads above water? How to keep calm & carry on when atrocities against our fellow human beings are being carried out by our Governement just south of our beautiful vista?

A fellow traveller came riding by on his bike, he stopped at our bench. We exchanged "Hello's," and then he talked about the horror that was on his mind too. Funny. It's was an oddly-uplifting conversation. It was strangely gratifying to know that someone else was also consumed with thoughts & feelings of disgust, dismay, & Helplessness. At least we knew that someone else was Awake too.

Our friend is a father of three children. "What do I tell my kids? I can't tell them they are fucked, I have to be positive for them."

Then we reviewed the reality of our collective situation. What to do? March. Protest. Write. Speak up. Alive. Aware. Awake. Be a Witness to the atrocities. And denounce them. And, of course, Vote when & if we can. We all still want to live in the country we grew up in, even if it seems to be vanishing right before our eyes & ears.

Our fellow traveller wished us well, and then he went on his way. We got up from the bench, & walked down the path, wondering to ourselves, what fresh fuckery will be next? And how the hell do we live with it?

A Very Unwell Person (actually two), Ranting at the Generals...

Tracking with the madness. It's getting harder to do. Keeping up. Seems everyday, we are spinning faster & faster, threatening to spin out of control. Luckily, you can check in with Paul Krugman each morning. He has his finger on the pulse. Here is the main headline of the last few days in this morning's post:

"If America still had a fully functioning democracy, Donald Trump’s speech Tuesday to the assembled generals would have ended his presidency. Trump treated the event like a political rally and was clearly taken aback by the refusal of the audience to applaud or laugh at his jokes. Delivering a nakedly partisan speech to a mandated assembly of military officers was a gross violation of the Hatch Act. The content —telling the officers to be ready to use force against U.S. citizens — was clearly an impeachable offense. In an earlier era, Trump’s incoherent ranting would have paved the way for his immediate removal from office under the 25th Amendment."

Yep. No doubt. Seems we don't have a functioning Democracy, because the Republicans just turn away, and pretend not see or hear a thing. The madness just keeps flowing. We all scramble trying to keep up. We think it's our duty as concerned citizens, but, then, again, I think we all need to pause, catch our breath, take care of our own sanity in the face of the over-amped crazy.

We are trapped in the claws of the worst of the worst amongst us. Trump's hiring practice: "crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty." Yikes. We are good & royally fucked! Have a nice day!

Ok, back to Krugman. Let's praise the hope that maybe wrapped up in their incompetence: "In a perverse way, we can be grateful that Trump and his minions are so incompetent, because that is forcing the dormant parts of our country to push back. Let’s just hope that the pushback is strong enough and fast enough to save us all."

Asking the Big Questions...

A dear loved one sent me a note about my last two posts (see previous 2 posts).

"Perhaps a new book would be wise?"

Ha. It is gratifying that someone is concerned for my well-being. It's funny, though, I am feeling fine. Reading Cormac McCarthy is actually quite life-affirming. Sure the book delves into a very hard, bleak, violent world, but the language is stunningly gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful, majestic writing. One is carried along by the narrative & the uncommonly rendered descriptions of the natural world.

Hard to convey how a series of perfectly constructed sentences can transport a reader. I am totally inspired and fired up by reading the book. Any book that can fire my imagination, get me to ask basic existential  questions is a worthy read.

I don't & can't recommend the book to anyone I know. It's dark. Really. I mean, some folks like me, will totally dive in with both feet, but it is not a cheery little tome. The gore, the horror, the cruelty of humanity, hangs over everything like a black cloud. It is almost Old Testament brutal. If there is a God, (an open question), he or she is  a very vengeful & cruel one, or a totally vacant, indifferent, non-caring one. Or you know, maybe this God is actually not good at all, dabbling in & encouraging evil just for the thrill of it? 

For sure, Humanity is on it's own. Human Beings calling on Gods and Devils is actually, totally besides the point. Look to yourself Human, you own it.

It leads one to ask all the big questions: How to live? How to find your way in the world? What's it all about? What of the human heart? How is it possible that humans are capable of incredible horror, murder, insanity, and also beauty, wonder, creativity, Love, Honor, & Joy? I think of William Blake: We humans are the "Marriage of Heaven & Hell." How to reconcile the contradictions? Any novel that gets you to that place is certainly remarkable & worthy.